As this year comes to a close, I've been reflecting upon long term servitude...what it means to Me, what it might mean to a submissive, what excites Me about building that kind of relationship with another person. What makes a successful D/s relationship? There are as many answers to this as there are stars in the universe, and quite honestly, I don't feel qualified to answer this in general statements.
Some basic necessities for Me are trust (in My opinion this must be earned, never demanded), a strong commitment to self, devotion and patience - these relationships can only develop over time, they cannot, should not be rushed. A desire to learn a multitude of basic skills to serve another successfully, impressively. Dedication to a craft. Pride in ones work. An interest in history, a voracious desire to learn. The ability to sit with oneself. To pause. To be gracious in challenging situations. Thoughtfulness. Unflinching honesty. All these things, I have been growing within Myself. I find the experience thrilling, and am excited to share these practices with others.
My favorite Dominants have talked about utilizing D/s relationships to encourage self love in their submissives, to curb negative self talk, encourage self care, good rest, eating balanced meals, caring for one's body. Attaining goals and turning dreams into reality.
Although it is important to Me to give assignments to a submissive that are, of course, for My pleasure only, there is a precious opportunity within these dynamics to also assign tasks that will enrich the life of the submissive as well. Adopting a regular meditation practice, daily journal entries, learning how to talk about ones feelings if this is a challenge, learning a new language, signing up for that class they always wanted to take but never did...watching a submissive succeed is not only exciting for Me, but will also (in My humble opinion) benefit the submissive in truly meaningful ways.
What are some of your nonnegotiable needs when engaging in this type of relationship?